Anxiety as a response to fake social standards

February 19, 2020


Are you familiar with anxiety symptoms? This uncomfortable feeling of uneasiness, distress, nervousness, tension and worried thoughts, which is often accompanied by such physical reactions as increased blood pressure, heartbeat, sweatiness, fatigue, lack of concentration, restlessness and muscular tension. Often, our anxiety is a reaction to perceived instead of real threats. And even if specialists believe that a certain degree of anxiety is healthy, it may have profound impact on the quality of our life and career.  


For our ancestors anxiety was one of the ultimate survival mechanisms. It helped early humans to decide whether “to fight” or “to flight” in a situation of imminent danger. Overall, our modern daily conditions have definitely become less life-threatening. On the contrary, many anxiety-driven situations nowadays are artificially created by our lifestyle. We base our relationships on the incorrect landmarks, letting certain artifacts define our personalities. Attributes of a wealthy lifestyle can make a positive contribution to our well-being only if they bring joy and satisfaction. If, however, we become hostages to the need of their acquisition, we are more likely to experience frustration and emptiness than any positive feeling caused by their possession.     



Modern anxiety and its remedy


When we uncritically follow generally imposed cannons, we cannot be certain about our own personality and our own needs. Subsequently, the inability to comprehend our personal desires and needs leads to incapacity to rely on intuition; powerlessness before the unknown, lack of trust in oneself and people. The next step is non-acceptance of oneself (our physical body, appearance, personality), shame, a negative spiral of self-flagellation, resentment, impostor syndrome, you name it. As a result, our self-esteem falls and we develop a variety of fears.


The range of present-day fears and anxieties is large but more often than not we are afraid to:


  • loose our jobs;

  • be different;

  • experience the lack of money;

  • fail social expectations;

  • be lonely;

  • confront the uncertainty of a new day;

  • fail competition or comparison with others.


These and other fears prevent our chance to live in the present: we are either stuck in the past or try to speed up the future. We are challenged by emotions, feelings and desires, which are not always logical. We are tempted to remain in the cocoon of the negative state (resentment, depression, loneliness, rejection, frustration, anger, etc.), which allows us to shift responsibility and seek attention. Yet, this is a road to nowaway.



I want to break free!


An anxiety cycle can be broken if we are ready to confront and honestly answer some seemingly uncomfortable questions: Who are we? What are we? What is it that we really want? The best way to find it out is an active, applied way. We act and listen to ourselves at the same time, trying to understand which of our actions resonate with us. Only in this way we are able to find the essential. The next step is to learn to accept ourselves the way we are, with all our strengths and weaknesses. 


A few questions can be particularly helpful when trying to understand our real values:


  • What is an added value I can share with people whom I respect?

  • What are my talents and gifts?

  • Do I value myself?

  • Do I value my life?

  • Do I value what I have and what I have already achieved?

  • Am I grateful for this?


What if we would take time and honestly answer these questions? What if we would rearrange our habitually unconscious actions and activities? Be sure, it would lead to continuous improvements in your life! 



Take good care of yourself if you want to get rid off your anxiety


Do not blame others; act from the depths of yourself. Want to build a trusting relationship - learn to trust yourself, despite the insults and failures of the past. This is a skill that you can learn. Choose a different approach to your life, the one of kindness, love, self-worth, personal integrity and overall well-being. Taking care of yourself, you will see how your environment changes, how new people enter into your life. Try to remember that your past (loss and pain) does not determine your future.


At Gross Leadership, we provide resources, knowledge, and skills that allow our clients to recreate their lives in spite of any type of challenges and experiences. Likewise we will help you realize that you already have everything to achieve your desired results. Use this link to register and our staff will contact you to agree a convenient time for consultation.



What strategies do you use to overcome anxiety? Please comment below.


“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players…”

(W. Shakespeare, As You Like It)


We believe that each and every one of us is not only a leading actor but first and foremost a writer of our own destiny. Overwhelmed by life events, we may unintentionally forget that we are the sole playwrights of our own lives. We may even unwittingly drop or lose the thread of our unfolding life story. Then, we start questioning ourselves and let others do the writing for us. Doesn’t this happen to all of us occasionally? The best thing we can do is to resume the leadership as soon as we can: only we should write the play of our life! 


With the renewed confidence and new skills, we design new perspectives. Coaching and training are the best instruments we use to achieve this goal.





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