There are a lot of talks about the best ways to set up the goals for the new year; colleagues, friends and the media offer a variety of techniques on how to put together workable goals and resolutions. Yet, statistically, by the end of the third week of January many of us tend to forget about our resolutions or even give up on them. Why does it happen? What happens to our resolve, motivation and self-esteem?
Key reasons for giving up on our resolutions
1. The goal is not mine.
This happens more often than we allow ourselves to admit. We set up goals under someone else's influence: our family, parents, partners, friends, society, … you name it. What makes the situation even more peculiar, is that those goals may be nice, reasonable and sensible. Yet, they are not our goals. We set them up to please the others. Such a goal is rather a commitment, which can even get transformed into a burden if we continue to pursue it. Should our personal freedom be the price for pleasing somebody’s opinion or being convenient?
2. A goal we set does not correlate with our main life goal.
All of us have our life goals, even if at the present moment they are merely big dreams. Such goals and dreams guide our decisions, give us strength and endurance in difficult moments. When we set up a New Year resolution on a whim or under the influence, it will most likely dissociate with our global life goal. As a consequence, we will block the achievement of this goal, consciously or unconsciously. Do we set up a New Year’s resolution just because everybody else does it? Are we afraid to acknowledge our real life goal and, instead, take our refuge in something more convenient or conventional?
3. We don’t want to leave our comfort zone.
Achievement of any goal presupposes change. It can be a change of life circumstances, a change of diet, a change of daily routine, a change of place of work, study or residence. Any change, in its turn, requires that we leave our comfort zone. This necessity can be too much for many among us: it is only human to prefer the comfort of the certainty, even an unsatisfactory one, to the uncertainty of a new step. But we need to remember that challenging ourselves and doing so on a daily basis drive us to reaching the goal.
4. Our goal is vague.
There is nothing wrong with dreaming and aiming high. Yet, our goals should not be too abstract. Would it be enough to set a goal “I want to buy a house” or “I want to move abroad.” Are these goals specific enough to work towards their achievement? When goals are sufficiently specific and concrete, our brain helps us to find ways to their achievement.
5. Positiveness of mind is a key.
Our goals need to be framed in a positive way. Their achievement should not be presented through negation: I have denied myself happiness to achieve this goal; I have stopped meeting my friends to have more time for it; I have worked harder than anybody else to achieve it, etc. Do we really need to make sacrifices to achieve our goals?
How to formulate a workable and achievable goal?
The secret of a successful New Year resolution is a carefully planned goal. By saying this we don’t mean a meticulous planning of each single step towards your goal. On the contrary, overspecification of all the steps limits our possibilities, means and routes towards our goal’s achievement.
What we advise our clients is to set up any desired goal. Its general planning helps to single out the issues which need to be worked on. If, however, you see that a desired goal remains unreachable despite all your efforts, you may consider to get in touch with a specialist. The core problem here is that certain interests and fears may be on the way towards your goal’s realization.
These and other issues may be overlooked in the process of setting up goals and resolutions, yet they may play a crucial role in the success of their achievement. Our aim is to pin down everything that may derail your progress and to open any possibilities for the realization of your goals. This helps to reformulate your own goal in a new way and to feel that such a goal is achievable.
Gross Leadership offers various training programs for your needs, which range from express consultations to an all-year support. If you are not sure which program to choose, you can book an introduction call with Anna.
We love to hear your stories and tips on how you build up and achieve your goals!
Don’t hesitate to ask some questions!
“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players…”
(W. Shakespeare, As You Like It)
We believe that each and every one of us is not only a leading actor but first and foremost a writer of our own destiny. Overwhelmed by life events, we may unintentionally forget that we are the sole playwrights of our own lives. We may even unwittingly drop or lose the thread of our unfolding life story. Then, we start questioning ourselves and let others do the writing for us. Doesn’t this happen to all of us occasionally? The best thing we can do is to resume the leadership as soon as we can: only we should write the play of our life!
With the renewed confidence and new skills, we design new perspectives. Coaching and training are the best instruments we use to achieve this goal.