Be smart, work hard… Does it what we read all the time when we come across these types of motivational articles? This is not what I want to talk about.
Every year, mostly around the end of the year, we are facing the reality of what we have or have not achieved. Have you ever set a New Year resolution? What was the result? Did you achieve your goal or not?
I do not believe in New Year’s resolutions. For me, it’s like saying: next Monday I will start a new life. Have you done that?
I used to do this and when the Monday came a bunch of excuses popped up and overrun my good intentions of starting a new life. Does this sound familiar to you in any of areas of your life?
I discovered a different way of dealing with positive intentions and I’d like to share it with you.
There are just three levels to consider:
Your dream vision
Actions you take
Why do you want to change something?
I believe it’s not possible to create a change if you only think about it (use your cognitive level). You need to involve your emotions a little deeper: why do you want to do this?
I challenge my clients to start with their dream, what would be your the ideal outcome you want to achieve? Then defining the gap between your dream and reality. This is your target to close the gap. On this level, you just write down what is required without judging if it’s doable or not.
If you are interested to know how self-aware you are, this quiz can help you to identify your level of self-awareness and to make the right decisions as to your next steps: https://goo.gl/JaUZGn.
How can you get what you want?
Once you know the direction, you need to ask yourself how do I get there and when? What resources do I need? Do I possess the required resources or do I need external sources to reach my goal? Write it down.
What can stop you?
We tend to believe that we need a right economy, a right moment, a right person next to us or something else to make things happen or we just need more time and everything will miraculously come together and we’ll get the wanted result.
Some people are sure that this hopeful thinking would lead to a better life. Let me help you to create a reality check.
I want you to become aware that it’s not about external factors, it’s about you making decisions and choosing to focus on opportunities and solutions or creating all sorts of excuses why it should or should not happen.
So here it comes- our resourcefulness and our choices. Are you aware that you chose to think that for example an economy or something else is a problem and that is why you cannot reach your goal? (You can put your excuse here: I think/believe that ___________, that is why I cannot have it).
If you find yourself explaining why you are not taking actions, congratulations. Now you’ve discovered one of your defense or protection mechanisms and you can either continue cycling in the reasoning why you cannot do something or make a switch and instead ask yourself how can I make what I consider to be an obstacle work for me? What opportunities can I find in this particular situation?
Here are a few examples: divide a piece of paper into two parts starting on the left excuses and on the right opportunities.
Let’s say you have a list of three items on your excuse side:
I don’t have people supporting me
I don’t have time
I don’t have money
What can you do is to take these topics one by one and ask yourself: “Does this thinking support me in reaching my goals and dreams? If yes, it should not be in your left column, if no, what can you think, feel or do differently to turn this obstacle into the actionable step you are inspired to take?
If your environment is not supporting you, where can you meet people with a different, more positive and supportive mindset? Do you believe this will help? What do you need to do to create a supportive surrounding?
If you find yourself repeating "it’s true, but…" or "yes, but…”, it’s a clear sign that you are rejecting the opportunity and coming back to the known for you cycle of thinking without giving yourself a chance of experiencing something new.
What are you doing, feeling or saying to yourself that if you change it your life and your results would be better?
If you want to revise your strategies and close the gap between the wanted and the current result, apply to have a breakthrough strategy session with Anna.