EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: Are You Outsourcing Your Happiness?

 

 

 

We tend to relate our happiness or unhappiness to external factors.

 

I feel happy because I got promoted. I feel unhappy because I was not promoted.

 

I feel happy because someone made me a compliment. I feel unhappy because no one did.

 

I feel happy because something external happened to me.

 

As long as we are deriving our happiness from something external we are dependent on external factors, most of which we can not control. We inevitably will be disappointed or fall into a negative state of mind which might lead to anger, anxiety or even depression.

 

Dale Carnegie has brilliantly formulated that observation while saying the following:

 


"It isn´t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy. It is what you think about it." Dale Carnegie 

 

 

The question becomes: how can we cultivate the happiness inside which will not be depended on external factors?

 

Some people would say that it is a philosophical question and would not bother themselves discovering how to do so.

 

I would say it's a matter of a practical importance as it can help you be autonomous and peaceful inside no matter what your circumstances are.

 

It will be great, won't it?

 

Your mind might wonder by now how to get there?

 

There are a few ways I know how to get there:

 

1. meditation

 

2. being in the present moment

 

As for meditation, meditate if you have a peaceful or positive state of mind. Don't mediate if you are feeling negative emotions. What you feel inside expands during the meditation.

 

As for being in the present moment. The best technique I know if something is happening and I feel a negative emotion I ask myself does this feeling relate to the present moment?

 

If yes, ok, I feel compassion as I might be in a touch situation; if not, I look backwards on my timeline and discover parts of me that need to be healed in the past. Like that, I bring myself into the present moment. These are just some examples. 

 

Leave your comment below if you think it is important to be happy no matter what your circumstances are.

 

If you want to explore more, I am offering a coaching session on how to be happy on demand and cultivate the peace of mind. This is especially helpful if you find yourself going through tough situation. Just contact me to agree upon the appointment.

 

Like and share this post with people you care about. They will be thankful to you. Have a happy day.

 

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