Victim Rescuer Rationalizer Blamer


Every day we face numerous challenges and we need to learn how to successfully respond to them both at work and in our personal life. When we are under pressure in the workplace or face a conflict, we may find ourselves ruled by our emotions and later discover that our state of mind was far away from being productive.


Recent studies done by A. Caillet, J. Hirshberg, and S. Petti published in the Harvard Business Review showed a clear link between the state of mind and the performance at work. People who participated in the survey were able to recognize emotions that create a productive state of being and an ineffective state of mind. Participants reported that the emotions of feeling calm, happy and energized as a most productive state. They revealed when they are in frustration, anxious, tired and stressed states that they have a hard time producing at work. Thus, your ability to manage your state of mind is as important as your qualification.


Have you ever experienced one of the states below: feeling helpless, pleasing, or willing to be liked by others? Are these productive or destructive states?


Take the quiz to discover what states of mind unconsciously prevent you from moving forward. After each series of questions take a moment to remind and describe a situation where you find yourself to be in Victim/Rescuer/Rationalizer/Blamer state.


We all have been in those situations.

1. Victim


Occasionally, have I…


Felt feelings of helplessness? yes/no


Run a storyline like: “There’s nothing I can do?” yes/no


Then, after being relieved, proved it by doing nothing? yes/no


This was the situation and my experience in the Victim state:


Recommendation: Turn your complaints into requests, or forget about them.

2. Rescuer


Occasionally, have I:


Felt a deep yearning to please, or be liked by others? yes/no


Expressed a storyline like: “Sure, I’ll do it,” when I shouldn’t? yes/no


Then, feeling burdened, becoming frustrated (angry) that I have to do more than I possibly can and forget about the life outside of work? yes/no


This was the situation and my experience in the Rescuer state:


Recommendation: Buy some time, consider consequences, and then say "no".

3. Rationalizer

Occasionally, have I:


Had an uncomfortable feelings of being (unconsciously) repressed? yes/no


Run a storyline like, “It doesn’t really matter” (when it does)? yes/no


Then, feeling better, only to find the discomfort returned soon? yes/no


This was the situation and my experience in the Rationalizer state:


Recommendation: Slow down, breathe (belly) into your emotions and process your storylines with a friend or your coach.


4. Blamer

Occasionally, have I:


Felt afraid that I was going to be blamed for the “mess?” yes/no


Run a storyline like, “It’s your fault,” using “mad-group” emotions to “cover up” my uncomfortable “Scared-group” feelings? yes/no


This was the situation and my experience in the Blamer state:



Recommendation: Find and own your role in “creating the mess.”



What insight did you get from this exercise?



Were you able to think of a strategy that can help you to move forward once you will remove one or all of the above-mentioned states?


How much would your productivity and life be improved if you would stay in more productive states of mind, being calm, happy and energized?



Are you excited to discover how to overcome your negative reactions and train productive states of mind? If your answer is a definite “Yes”, than our online course How Your State of Mind Affects Your Productivity is the right tool for you.

with Anna Gross


Gross Leadership 2020,

powered by Gross Development GmbH